With over 7 billion people on this planet, why does this world so often seem like such a lonely place? Yes, as Christians, we know that Jesus loves us. We might even know that family members love us, even when we don't always sense that love. But with over 7 billion people, why do we still feel so lonely?
Loneliness and being alone are two separate things. Recently, I went to church, and it was a service with approximately 1,200 people in attendance. Yet, I was feeling more lonely than ever before. Granted, there were several pleasantries expressed that evening towards me. The pastor walked passed, nodded, and said, "Hey, how you doing?", yet continued to walk away not really expecting a reply. The same from several others. Yet, why did I feel so lonely that particular evening? Perhaps I went to church that evening in extreme pain. It had been an awful week, in many more ways than one. I had been betrayed by someone I had truly cared about. Lies were being spread about me all around. My life, at that particular time, seemed to be crumbling all around me very rapidly. In some ways, I wanted to skip church completely that evening. I didn't even want to be around others. But I picked myself up by my bootstraps and convinced myself that going to church would be best to help at that time. Ninety minutes later, I left church in even worse shape than I had entered. In a church that size, you tend to get to know small networks of people. Others just become faces in the crowd. I scanned and scanned the crowd that night, and saw no one that I had already gotten to know. That is, other than staff members of the church who were way too busy with their responsibilities of the evening. What is it I needed that night so bad? Perhaps just five minutes of a friends' time to share what was going on and maybe receive a quick hug, or a genuine "it will be okay, Mark, you're in my prayers!"
Also, when I attended church that evening, I have no doubt I showed my pain. But people get scared away from people who are hurting. Who wants to go up and talk with someone who looks like they could burst into tears at any second?
Since that time, I have healed a lot, although not totally. I have been back to church several times since then, and harbor no ill will whatsoever. I blame not the people for what they do not know. I failed to speak up and somehow expected people just to know, to comfort ... yet, that's not the way this world works.
Loneliness in this world is reaching epidemic proportions. Some researchers believe that it has grown much more rapidly since the early late 1990's, early 2000's, due to "social networking." Let me first share my own personal opinion: if you (or I) spend more time talking with "friends" on social networking than you do face to face contact, chances are you are going to become lonely. Perhaps Facebook, Twitter, and the likes, should be better known as "anti-social" networking. Yet, please understand, I personally do believe in many benefits of these sites. Thanks to Facebook, I have been back in contact with friends I graduated high school with many, many moons ago. And thanks to these re-connections, I have actually been able to visit many and have had a number of reunions of sorts, and that has been a true blessing. I also believe both Facebook and Twitter have been very valuable on getting information, such as urgent prayer requests out, faster than ever before. Recently, a couple of students from church were in a serious car accident. My Facebook newsfeed page was filled with people sharing their prayers for their whole family. In fact, it was Facebook that first alerted me to the accident and the call for prayer.
But when we spend more time with church folks online than we do in church potluck dinners, etc, that is when the danger of loneliness begins.
Another danger: if you are feeling down, perhaps you should not be scrolling through a Facebook newsfeed page reading of what others are up to. People tend to talk about fun things online. They post pictures of their vacations, or their new cars, or other exciting things happening in their lives. If we feel as though our lives are ho-hum, imagine how much worse we will feel when we see others are all happy and we are so sad. People don't tend to post all the negative things that occur on a day in and day out basis.
So bottom line ... is "social networking" to blame for the increase in loneliness? NO! Is the fact that certain people didn't say hello the reason? NO! If we are feeling lonely, then who's to blame? No one but ourselves! We need to turn off our computers, turn off our TV's, get off our butts, and surround ourselves with others. But that's just step one. As I pointed out earlier, being in large crowds, one can still feel lonely. But step two is to open up and share what is going on in your life with others. As long as we are not chronic complainers, most people have enough compassion in their hearts to sit down with us and listen, offer some encouraging words, and maybe, perhaps, even offer a hug!
One last thing ... if you are reading this, please know that I love you and you're in my prayers. I feel convicted that many will be reading this who really need to hear that. If that is you, give me a holler, and we'll go out and have some chicken wings sometime! It's okay to use Facebook or Twitter, or even e-mail to contact me, but let's talk over wings or coffee in person so you can have a shoulder to lean on, deal? Or, if you need one, even a hug!
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