"Because he holds fast to me in love, I will deliver him; I will protect him, because he knows my name." ... Psalm 91:14
"A good name is more desirable than great wealth. Respect is better than silver or gold." ... Proverbs 22:1
As you all know by now, Jeremy and I first attended Cypress Wesleyan Church on Easter Sunday. Prior to visiting the church, I did my homework, and checked out the church's website. I also looked at their Facebook page and Twitter page. I was, and still am, impressed with how the church is using social media as a form of outreach. Hey, in my case, it worked!
When Jeremy and I were leaving church on Easter, we ran into Cypress's Worship Leader, Mark Wilson. Mark asked me, "You are Mark Beavers, right?" I was intrigued as to how he knew my name. He saw a post I had made on Facebook, and as a result, he remembered my name to my face. Pretty cool.
Fast forward three weeks. Jeremy went with me for his second visit to the church, to hear former Ohio State running back Maurice Clarett share his testimony. After the service was over, I received a tweet on Twitter from Mark. In it, he said he was glad to see me and Jeremy that morning. Jeremy saw the tweet to me, and immediately asked, "How in the world does he remember my name? I've only been there once before!" I explained some people just have great memories, and Mark must be one of them! But it super impressed Jeremy to the point to where he has the utmost of respect for Mark as a result! Jeremy says he may never have the musical talents and gifts that Mark has, but he is going to do what he can to be like Mark and remember names better!
I shared in my last post a short story about former Cleveland Browns coach Sam Rutigliano. I had met Coach Sam in 2005. I had called him twice, and made arrangements for him to do an autograph signing in Columbus. We spent two hours together in a hectic atmosphere, and then went our separate ways. Three years later, a friend and I were walking through the Pro Football Hall of Fame in Canton, Ohio, when Coach Sam walks out of an office, sees me, and cheerfully greets me by name. "Mark Beavers! It's so good to see you!" Wow! First of all, I figured as many people as Coach Sam has met over the years, he would never remember my name. But he did! And he used my name in his greetings. That would make anyone feel special.
Our own names are one of the most important things we ever hear in life. We train ourselves over the years to drown out certain noises. How many times, though, have you heard someone call out your name, and you turn around to only find out they were calling someone else. Awkward feeling at times. But if that same person called out someone else's name, we would just continue walking as though we didn't hear anything. We tune it out, figuring it was not important to us.
In marketing, successful sales teams know the importance of using a person's name in conversation. Using the person's name acknowledges their identity, massaging their ego and hence boosting their self-esteem. Just by recognizing that they exist, you have done them a great favor (which of course means they now owe you...).
Have you ever met someone on numerous occasions, and each time they see you, they don't seem to remember your name? Perhaps they recognize you, but they just can't seem to recall a name? That has happened to me with ex-girlfriends before. Trust me, that doesn't go over well! It sends a signal to the person that they are of non-importance to you.
There was a story that made it rounds throughout the internet about six months ago, which may be true, and may not be. It was intended to be humorous. But I am going to share it (paraphrased) to make a point. There was a US soldier, stationed in Afghanistan. He received a "Dear John" letter from his girlfriend back home. She wanted her picture back from him. He thought about this, then decided to go to his fellow soldiers, and collect a whole box of old pictures from others. He then shipped her the box, with a note that stated, "Yes, you can have your picture back. I just don't remember which one is yours. So feel free to take a look at these and see if you can find yours." He obviously knew, but figured this would be the ultimate insult back to her.
So, if you are at all like me, you struggle to remember people's first names. Here is a list of five little techniques I found online that may help:
1 . Pay attention.
Obvious, right? You’d be amazed at how little attention we pay to the person we are meeting. Be present in the moment and listen when your new acquaintance says her name. Clear your mind and focus on her – not on what you’re going to say next.
2. Repeat the new name. Say it right back to the person.
John: Hi, my name is John. You: John, nice to meet you.
Then, try to use the name two more times before parting. An excellent way to commit a name to memory is to introduce the person to one or two others.
3. Ask for the spelling.
If the name is not familiar to you – foreign or otherwise unique – get its spelling to reinforce your understanding and to confirm you have heard the name correctly.
Many people are hesitant about asking for the spelling or just asking the person to say his name again. Don’t be. People like it when you take an interest in them, and they’re happy to repeat their name if it means you’re actually going to remember it (and use it in the future).
Some people have heavy accents, and some have really unusual names. These people often have their names forgotten or mistaken. Imagine the impression you’ll make when you take the time to truly understand their name, get the pronunciation correct and remember it.
4. Pick out distinctive features.
When you meet someone, spend time looking at their face, and pick out a distinctive feature. Notice a crooked nose, puppy dog eyes, a cleft chin, big ears, yellow teeth etc. If possible, pick out the feature before you’re introduced so you’re not struggling to find one while the person is giving you his name.
When you focus on the particular feature, your brain naturally associates it with the name. This will take a little time, so begin by studying people on the street, in restaurants, on the subway etc. With practice you will train your brain to automatically pick out the outstanding feature of each face.
Note:Make sure you use permanent features and stay away from things like hair color, glasses, braces and things that may change over time.
5. Associate the name with a famous person.
Another way to remember names is to associate them with famous people. If you meet Al, think of Al Capone, the Chicago mob boss. If you meet Jennifer, think of Jennifer Aniston. But don’t stop there. In order for the name to stick, you need to associate it with an action.
Picture your new client, Jennifer, sitting on the coffee house couch with Ross (from the T.V. show Friends). She goes to take a sip of her coffee when it slips out of her hand and spills all over Ross’s new white pants. Make the picture as vivid as possible.(Smell the aroma from the coffee, and see the steam coming out of the cup. Picture a huge brown coffee stain on Ross’s pants.) Now each time you see Jennifer, you’ll recall the image and her name.I am not guaranteeing that these methods will work for you (not even sure if they'll work for me.) But I'm willing to give it a try!
"But now thus says the Lord, he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine." ... Isaiah 43:1
"And the Lord said to Moses, “This very thing that you have spoken I will do, for you have found favor in my sight, and I know you by name.” ... Exodus 33:17
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